Why You Don't
by Angel of Randomosity
Summary: *Let Your Friends Drag You Around England Never trust your friends when their plans include a random trip to another country for vacation, especially when they're as crazy as mine. RATED T FOR AKIRA'S POTTY MOUTH! Although it's genre includes Romance, this story is mostly Humor i.e. why Grell is involved. Constructive criticisms are welcome, Flames will be used on Alois. 3O
1. Directions

**Author: Angel of Randomosity**

**Anime:** Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler

**Pairing: Unknown**

**Genre:** Humor-Romance-Stupidity

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler OR ANYTGING ELSE COPYRIGHTED!

**Why You Don't Let Your Friends Drag You Around England**

**Chapter 1:**Directions. There are none.

"You guys…"

No response.

"Guys."

Still no response.

"ANSWER ME DAMMIT!"

Nothing.

The four friends had been wandering around for about three hours straight now. The ever short and critical Layla and the smart-mouthed but ever curious Cri were in the lead of their small group. Directly behind the two was the silently observant but well trained Toshiro, with Riku and Midnight padding along on either side of him. Then of course, bringing up the rear was the ever suspicious, calculated and frustrated Akira, with Shadow leaning over her shoulder from his seat in her backpack.

Layla looked back, slightly surprised.

"Yeah, what's up, Akira?"

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Layla frowned.

"Why should I know where we are? I've been following Cri this entire time!" By this time, they had stopped walking and everyone was staring at Cri, who just smiled.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?"

"Now, Akira, there's no need to yell." This earned Toshi a baleful glare from his little sister.

"Answer, Cri," she growled.

"We're right here." Akira twitched.

"I know we're here...but WHERE IS HERE?" Cri rubbed the back of her head.

"Well, see, about that...the fun in exploring the city is in going places where you wouldn't normally..." Layla sighed.

"What she's trying to say is that we're horribly lost..." There was a moment of silence in which three things happened.

Firstly, they found out that it was indeed possible for Akira's skin to get as red as her eyes. Secondly, they were quickly reminded why Akira should not be dragged into random trips with the likes of Cri, even if Shadow was around. Thirdly, they had noticed that everything around them had suddenly gone unbearably quiet, and there seemed to be a lot of eyes on them. All of these things seemed to happen at once as Akira proceeded to attack her careless friend.

Poor little Shadow was just hanging on for dear life.

When Cri finally managed to get free of her abusive friend, she sulkily looked around herself while rubbing her bruised arm. Her eyes lit upon a small side street, and she gave a triumphant cry.

"I know where we are!" Layla just sighed again.

"No you don't, Cri." But Cri just ignored her friends and rushed over to the street. The group shared a wary look, and reluctantly followed her. They found her sitting at a small cafe table, happily munching on a pastry.

When the group finally caught up to the snacking girl, they were somewhat winded. Toshiro looked up from where he was leaning, catching his breath. "Huh...Cri...so where the hell are we?"

Akira nods in agreement, looking around. "The middle of England or something?" she says, noticing all the strange Victorian wear. When Cri finally spoke, it was with a smile and twinkle in her eyes.

"This is one of my favorite cafes when I come to England. I love everyone's clothes. Makes me crave my Steampunk outfit, though I should probably go without the Gravity Hammer." Everyone else suddenly noticed the Victorian garb and got an uneasy feeling. They quickly looked back, but didn't see the entrance to the street they had entered. They gave Cri a panicked look.

"Forget about where we are, Cri, WHEN are we? How the hell did we get sucked back in time?" Akira demanded. Cri quickly hushed her, looking around.

"You need to speak quietly. They only become aware of you if you're loud. We're like an illusion to them right now...I'm not actually sure how long the illusion lasts, so I tend to only stay for 10 minutes..."

Toshiro gave her a scruntizing look, before glancing around them again in wonder. "Cri, are you sure this is safe?" Layla finally looked up from her backpack, holding up their map in triumph. "Yes!" suddenly all eyes and disapproving stares were on them.

Riku and Midnight backed up against their owners, heads held high, but tails between their legs. Shadow was glaring over Akira's shoulder at Layla at this point, silently berating her with his eyes.

After a few moments, most of the crowd stopped paying attention to them and went along with their business. They all turn to stare dully at Layla.

She at least had the decency to look sheepish, scratching the back of her head. "Oops..."

"I don't think that maps gonna help much, Layla. Cri somehow brought us back in time." Layla groaned.

"Not again." Everyone looked at Cri once again, who looked slightly worried.

"How do we get back?"

"Well, I've never gone back without the illusion working. So, I'm not too sure..."

With everything going on, no one had even been noticing that Akira hadn't said a word that entire time, oddly enough. Looking over, Toshiro noticed Akira staring out into the crowd of annoyingly stuck up Britishers passing by.

Walking over and effectively breaking their conversation, he got a thoughtful look on his face, waving a hand in front of hers. When she didn't respond, he tried snapping, and then he even tried _pinching_ her. Looking over shoulder, he noticed that her eyes were locked on two figures that were swiftly moving through the crowd.

"Akira-chan. You're drooling."

That quickly snapped her out of her daze, as she grumpily wiped the offending liquid from her face. Akira suddenly got a decisively _dangerous_ gleam in her eyes.

"Sexy demon butler at five-o-clock." she smirked. Toshi and Layla shared a look, both mouthing the question of "What?" as they peered over her shoulder, and Cri just grinned mysteriously. Shadow had a questionably irritated look on his face, and Riku seemed as if he might cry soon. Midnight looked as if she was going to crack up at any moment.

Nobody knew exactly who this "sexy demon butler" person was that she was referring to, but one thing was for sure in the minds of the more 'grounded' group members so-to-speak. Toshi and Shadow didn't even have to look at her eyes to know that the girl was no doubt planning some sort of mischief out for this guy already.

Nothing good would come of this.

This was going to be one _long_ vacation…

**:+:_:=:_:+:**

**Angel: And…FIN!...I think…whatever****.**

**Toshi: Why was I dragged into this exactly?**

**Angel: Because I missed you over the school year, and none of the ideas that Lisa has actually involves you **_*slaps hands over mouth*_OxO **Oops. YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM ME!**

**Toshi: D8 WHAT?**

**Angel: READ & REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Toshi: **_*frozen*_


	2. The Plan

**Author: Angel of Randomosity**

**Anime:** Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler

**Pairing: Unknown**

**Genre:** Humor-Romance-Stupidity

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler OR ANYTHING ELSE COPYRIGHTED!

**Why You Don't Let Your Friends Drag You Around England**

**Chapter 2:**The Plan. Just Do It, Stupid Boy.

Seeing as any hope they had of getting back soon had, pretty much, flown the coup, everyone decided—against their better judgment of course—to turn to Cri and Akira for a plan of action in order to find somewhere for them to stay for the time being.

A somewhat delirious smirk and a far off look had etched themselves onto Akira's face as she stared off into space, and the group could see the wheels spinning—not turning—but literally spinning around in her head at about twenty miles per hour. Beside her Cri was happily devouring another scone that she had acquired with the money she had brought as Toshi and Layla quietly sipped their tea across from them.

Midnight sat on the floor next to Layla as she lapped at the saucer of tea they had given her. Though, it was no easy task to get her to drink the stuff in the first place. The damned brat had demanded they put at least four lumps of sugar in it before she'd even _consider_ drinking the awful, bitter drink.

"Well, here's the plan!" Everyone jumped as Cri clapped her hands. They eyed her warily, just because she was Cri...and well...she was Cri. But, they waited to hear what this plan of her's was. However, she just sat there, a happy smile on her face.

"Well?" Cri blinked a couple times.

"Oh! Right, you might want to know what it is. Well, I know someone during this time period...at least, I'm pretty sure he's here right now..." Akira twitched.

"So you want us to pay a visit to this person who may or may not be in this time?" Cri nodded happily. In a split second, she was holding her head, and Akira was angrily glaring at her. Layla and Toshi just sadly shook their heads.

"Come on, Akira. You really should know better by now," Toshi said with a sigh. He flinched slightly when Akira's glare was directed towards him.

"Jerk. And I'm nearly 86.457% sure that he's in this time period." Layla quickly restrained her friend from beating the shit out of her other friend.

"Come on, Akira. You don't want to catch people's attention more than we already have. This really seems like our only option at the moment. We don't know anyone here, and Cri is really our only bet when it comes to getting home. Besides, I bet that Cri has more knowledge of this time than the any of us combined."

Breathing a bit heavy, Akira pinched the bridge of her nose, and took a _deep_ breath. It was quiet for about a full two minutes as she got ahold of her emotions again.

Shadow padded himself over to her lap, jumping on Toshi's head as he went. She glanced down at him, and he did one of his sorts of all-knowing kitty-smirk, which she returned with a grin.

"Alrighty then." she sighed, picking him up and putting him back on her shoulders, before shoving half of the scone Toshi was about to grab into her mouth.

"Let's go find the jerk already, it's getting dark out and I don't feel like dealing with petty muggers or loser pervs." she says, ignoring the glare Toshi was shooting her.

He wanted that scone dammit...

Cri smiled, and as she started walking off, they noticed that her clothes had changed into those of the time period. Of course, this led them to look down at their own clothes, which, too, had changed into those of the time period as well.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Akira screamed, clutching at the skirt of the dress that now graced her body. Cri turned around, eying everyone's clothes with a slight frown.

"Don't you like it? I did my best, since we had to blend in..." She shrugged, and continued walking. Her friends had no choice but to follow her. By the time they had caught up, she was chatting with a man sitting on the top of the carriage.

"Thank you, kind sir. I apologize for not being able to pay you right away, but as I have told you, my friend will be able to pay you in full when we reach him." The man smiled, as Cri turned to face her dumbfounded friends. They had never seen, nor heard, Cri act like that.

"This wonderful man has told me that my friend is, indeed, here, and is willing to take us to him." Toshi immediately looked at her warily.

"You mentioned paying him..." Cri nodded with a smile.

"Yes, the friend we are visiting will be more than accommodating." Through this, the man had climbed off the top of the carriage and had opened the door. Cri smiled charmingly at him, as he helped her into the carriage. The friends were, again, dumbfounded, for Cri gave off the air of being a fine lady who had lived in this time her whole life. They weren't near as graceful as they climbed into the carriage, even with the man's help.

"Cri..." Cri had been staring out the window as the carriage started to make its way to their destination, but turned to look at her friends at Layla's inquiring voice.

"You guys know that I'm quite good at acting. And I have to have some sort of knowledge of Victorian times in order to do my Steampunk thing. Were you guys really that surprised?"

"Well, yeah. You had never acted like that before." Cri shrugged.

"I just figured you'd gotten used to me doing the unexpected." There was a strangely comfortable silence.

"Who is this friend that we're going to meet, and how do you know someone from...here?" Toshi finally asked, carefully choosing his words, for fear that the man driving the carriage would overhear. Cri's smile was wicked.

"Oh, just someone I had met a while back." And she would say no more on the matter.

**- 15 Minutes Later…**

"I'm bored…"

"Me too…"

"…"

"I'm hungry too…"

"Me too…"

"….."

"Is there any more food in Mistress Akira's bag?"

"Nuh-uh…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"…..!"

"I'm bored…"

"Me t—"

"WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?" All eyes snapped over to Midnight as she glared at the two idiots she dared claim as her companions, her eye twitched a bit as her dark tinted muzzle was curled back in a snarl. Shadow and Riku just stared at her blankly, and Riku pouted slightly.

"But we're bo-!" he yelped, falling backwards into Akira's legs, as Midnight was suddenly right in his face, growling again.

"I. don't. CARE! Shut up and take a nap or something if you're so bored. Because, in case you haven't noticed, we're in a freaking carriage, destination unknown, and we have no idea who Miss Cri's friend is. So we might need to be on our guard. Therefore, you need to shut up until we get to where we're going."

With that, she promptly turned around and climbed back onto the seat next to her mistress, as the other two just stared at her, their mouths gaping like fish. Shadow frowned, before doing the same and crawling back into Akira's bag. This just left Riku, who was still frozen where she has yelled at him, squished up against his mistress' dress.

Thinking back to what had just occurred and how close she had actually been….he felt his face heating up. _'__So close…__'_ quickly, he banished those thoughts from his mind.

It wasn't going to help him at all, thinking like that about his friend. Besides, she could probably kill him if she wanted to. She was a female. And he has learned to fear most females, because he _knows_ they have the potential to kill him…at least the ones he lives with anyways…

Quickly snapping himself from his thoughts on the dangers of the female population he just happened to live with, he shivered as he felt a light brushing sensation going down his neck. He glanced back to see his young mistress smiling at him happily, and he couldn't help but to return it with one of his own doggish ones, his tongue hanging and tail waggling.

Sure, they freaked him the hell out, but he couldn't deny one important fact of all.

No matter what happened, he'd always love his young mistress the most.

**-****With the Crazy Teenagers**

As Riku had finally calmed himself down enough to take his nap, like Midnight ordered him to, the four teens just laughed quietly at their companions' antics. Silently petting Midnight, who was resting her head on her owners lap, Layla looked over to Akira, who had been scratching Riku lightly behind his ears.

"Ne, Akira." She glanced up, smiling a bit still.

"Yeeess...~" Layla gives her an amused smirk.

"You and Cri need to stop arguing around Midnight so much, it's affecting her language. I'm trying to make sure she's one of the few in our house that _doesn't_ curse like a sailor." There was a burst of laughter from the other two occupants.

She looked across from her to Toshi, who was trying to stop himself and was failing horribly, to Cri next to her, who was giggling like a loon, completely throwing off the air she had held when she was acting beforehand.

"What the hell are you talking about, Layla? You curse just as much as we do!" Akira shot back, while laughing like Toshi, but a bit more controlled.

"Yeah, Layla. *snort* The only person she probably wouldn't have learned it from would be me!" Cri nodded, grinning at the sad truth of it all.

"Yeah. And even Toshi still curses!" they all cracked up at the blush that covered the poor boy's face, as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. It's not like he could deny it really. After living in a house of crazy people for years, eventually some part of him had to be corrupted.

Quickly becoming bored with how long this trip was taking them, Akira grabbed her backpack from where it sat between herself and Toshi. Since Shadow was so used to being jostled around while being in the bag so often, it came as no surprise when he stayed fast asleep when she took the bag and plopped it in her lap, digging around frantically inside the pockets.

After a few tedious moments, a triumphant look shone on her face as she brought out her silver mp3 player. Popping in the headphones, she turned in on and began searching through all the songs that she had either downloaded or bought….or stolen from other people's collections, all the while strategically moving the bag into Toshi's lap for the time being.

Ignoring the sounds of protest from her elder brother, she continued to search through the songs, a critical look on her face.

"Hmm…..what exactly am I in the mood for?" Toshi glances up for a moment, looking over her shoulder.

"How's about that one?" She blinks, looking down at where he was pointing to, her eyes widen a fraction, but she smiles anyways, nodding in affirmation. Taking a deep breath, she slowly lets it back out again and presses the play button as she begins to sing.

"_**Boy, meets girl you were my dream, my world  
But I was blind, you cheated on me from behind  
So on my own I feel so all **__**alone  
Though I know it's true I'm still in love with you"**_

The other two looked over, instantly recognizing the song, as Akira began the second verse.

_**"I need a miracle I wanna be your girl  
Give me a chance to see that you are made for me  
I need a miracle**__** please let me be your girl  
One day you'll see it can happen to me"  
**_

Knowing what was coming up next, the other two decided to join in as well. Toshi just sat there, smiling at their antics.

_**"I need a miracle I wanna be your girl  
Give me a chance to see t**__**hat you are made for me  
I need a miracle please let me be your girl  
One day you'll see it can happen to me, it can happen to me"**_

Akira's pleasant music bubble was suddenly shattered when her earbuds were snatched from their comfortable home within her ears. Her eyes narrowed dangerously at Cri, who was in the process of slipping the mp3 player into the small bag by her.

"Cri..." Cri looked up at Akira, clearly unperturbed by the death promised in Akira's gaze and tone.

"You can't have this here. You DO remember WHERE we are, right? I know I tend to be not really responsible, but even I'm not willing to mess with the right now. Stuff like this could really do harm," she said, shaking the bag slightly. Akira pouted, but understood where Cri was coming from. Layla looked like she was about to say something, but was cut off when the carriage jerked to a halt. Everyone composed themselves as the carriage driver opened the door.

"We have arrived." Cri smiled and gracefully took the man's hand to exit the carriage.

"Thank you so very much." He bowed his head slightly before turning to help the others out of the carriage. (i don't feel like talking about where they ended up, so that's on you ;P)

One of the doors swung open, revealing a raven haired man with deep red eyes. He was wearing what seemed like a very elegantly tailored butler suit. He looked slightly stunned to see Cri standing there. Cri's smiled widened, and she walked over to him, grabbing his hands.

"Sebastian! Oh, it's wonderful to see you again!" she said, kissing both of his cheeks. Sebastian's eyes narrowed, before he smirked, catching the glint in Cri's eyes.

"Cri, I wasn't expecting you until next week."

"Yes, well, we managed to get a couple breaks, and then this kind sir offered to take us up here when we got into town. We would've sent word ahead, but our funds ran short unexpectedly." Sebastian immediately caught the hint.

"Well, allow me to pay the kind sir, and then I will get you and your companions settled in." Cri remained where she was as Sebastian went over to the carriage driver and her friends all but ran over to her.

"You know the sexy butler?" Akira whisper squealed. Cri nodded happily.

"I'll explain a bit more when we get inside." Toshi was immediately into big brother mode.

"I don't know..." The girls just rolled their eyes. Even the animals looked amused.

"Now that that's all figured out, come inside." He leaned closer to Cri.

"And explain exactly WHY you are here, Cri." Cri just smiled charmingly as she hooked her arm with his and walked through the door.

Akira and Layla hooked arms with Toshi, scurrying in excitedly after their friend into the Mansion, dragging the poor boy behind them as he growled under his breath, cursing the raven haired man. Riku and the other two trotted in behind them, laughing the whole way.

Unknown to the three, a figure with red eyes and silver hair was watching closely as the door closed behind them.

Inside, the group, minus Cri of course, looked around in awe at all the decor and just, really, the massive size of the manor in general. Layla gasped.

"Holy shit, this is bigger than even _our_ house!" Akira just nods numbly, silently agreeing with her short friend.

"Oh my doom...I knew this place was huge, but...damns Ciel..." Sebastian glanced over at that comment, his eyes narrowed suspiciously, before continuing his conversation with Cri. Toshi was leaning up against the walls, still glaring at the man, while the others were looking around the place.

After a couple more minutes, Sebastian and Cri made their way back to the group.

"Well, Cri has explained to me your situation. It may take some time to come up with a solution to this problem, since both of us are wary of time travel. Hopefully your being here won't affect your present. Now, I must explain to my...master as to why we now have guests. Cri knows where you are to be staying, so please follow her. And try not to be seen by anyone else right now." With a kiss to Cri's cheek, Sebastian stalked off.

Cri smiled, and gestured for her friends to follow her.

"Cri, what's going on? Just who is this Sebastian fellow." Cri giggled at Toshi's suspicious nature.

"Sebastian is a friend of mine, as I've said. I saved him from an...uncomfortable position he had gotten himself into. Since then, I've occasionally supplied him with meals and such."

"So you feed this guy?" Everyone paused at the malicious grin that had appeared on Cri's face.

"Yes, I provide him with meals from time to time. Just don't make any deals with him. I like you all too much to want to see you dead." She stopped in front of a door.

"This is where we'll be staying." She opened the door, revealing a small sitting room with three doors. They opened the doors, revealing three different bedrooms, one with two beds and the other two with one. A sudden, horrible though hit Akira.

"Cri, where's the bathroom?" Cri giggled.

"There's a water closet across the hall. Thank the stars that there's toilets in this time." Akira let out a sigh of relief.

"However, get used to not bathing regularly. It's considered "unhealthy" during this time." She laughed as her friends froze and slowly turned to face her.

"WHAT?" Cri just chuckled at the looks on her friends' faces. Akira growls, stalking forward a bit, and the need to strangle her friend clearly written on her face. Just as she gets close enough to _touch_ the infuriating girl, she swiftly turns at the last moment, disappearing into one of the single-bed rooms. The door slammed behind her, making them jump slightly.

Cri blinked a couple times before shrugging, and going into the other single room, leaving Toshi and Layla standing there awkwardly. They became even more awkward when they realized that they would now have to share a room.

Then they became even MORE awkward when the other three in their party got tired of their awkwardness and went into the last room, stranding them there.

Once everyone was finally settled, Sebastian came to collect them. "I must introduce you to the Master of the Manor. All I ask is that you behave and try to fit in, while we try to get you home," he said as he led them through corridors. He finally stopped at a set of doors, which he opened, revealing Ciel.

"Bocchan, I would like to introduce you to my dear friends, Lady Cri Morimoto. Her companions are Miss Akira Fujimoto and Master Toshiro Fujimoto, with his wife, Layla." Cri simply smirked as she dipped into a graceful curtsey.

The young lord stood up, walking over them and held out his hand to Toshiro, who shook it hesitantly, smiling awkwardly as he tried futilely to cover his embarrassment,

"Welcome to my home. I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive, head of the Phantomhive family, and Funtom Corporation. It's very nice to meet you all. I must say, I wasn't aware Sebastian even HAD friends. He has informed me that you are in need of assistance and a place to stay." Toshi just nodded, coughing into his fist slightly. The damn boy was barely taller than LAYLA for Pete's sake. At least he looked his age, but that was just from his point of view anyways.

Being almost as tall as Sebastian, it was kind of hard to tell...

"Likewise I'm sure. And yes, we will try not to be a distraction or inconvenience to you while we're here, Lord Phantomhive." Ciel nods, and was about to speak again when there was a resounding BOOM! of the door being slammed open from downstairs.

There was silence for a moment, before a very decidedly DISTURBING squeal echoed through the manor halls.

"OH SEBAS-CHAN~ MY SEBAS-CHAN~"

They could hear the echoing sounds of someone running through the hallways, and everyone turned to look at the butler, who was suddenly stiff as a board, his face twitched irritably.

"What could that THING possibly be doing here, of all places?"

Cri gave Sebastian an evil grin, before putting on a heartbroken face, just as Grell burst through the door.

"How could you, Seby-chan! I thought we had something special! Instead I come here and find you have a relationship with HIM?"

Akira looked over, smirking as well. "Oh, really? I was under the impression that he had a thing for little shota boys." She smiles pleasantly, glancing over at her friend and brother, who were biting their lips, grinning.

"Isn't that right, Layla-chan? Toshi?" they both bit back the grin that tried to make its way onto their faces.

This got an argument going between Cri, Sebastian, Grell, and Akira. Ciel scooted over to where Toshi and Layla were standing, just watching the show.

"Whose soul is Lady Cri attempting to take?" Toshi and Layla shared a look.

"I think she just wants to slowly kill all of our souls," Layla finally muttered. Ciel frowned.

"No, I mean, doesn't she have a deal with one of you so she may consume your soul?" His frown increased at the strange looks Toshi and Layla were giving him.

"Is she not a demon like Sebastian?" Toshi started laughing, while Layla sent a gloomy look towards Cri.

"She's a demon alright, just not in the sense you mean," Toshi finally managed to get out.

Ciel's eyes widen as he glances over to the strange girl. Well then, if she wasn't a demon... "What the hell is she exactly?"

The two looked over to where Akira and Cri were still arguing back and forth with the demon butler and red headed fan-boy, with identical evil smirks on their faces. It was actually kind of surprising he hadn't asked about Akira actually, who was usually more likely to be confused as a demon. They thought for a second before glancing at each other, shaking their heads.

"We have absolutely no idea."

"Cri is Cri. So you'll just have to get used to it I suppose," Ciel sneezed a bit, as they looked down to the floor where Akira's black furred helper sat watching the argument with an amused glint in his eyes.

Now, they had missed a large chunk of what the argument was about, so they were shocked when Cri's amused grin left her face, to be replaced with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

"Shit!" Layla suddenly leapt into action, latching onto Cri's arm, with Akira doing the same from the other arm.

Toshi and Ciel stood there staring at them all as Akira and Layla attempted to calm Cri. Toshi was glaring again slightly. Shadow just looked amused still. Ciel had absolutely no idea what the hell had just happened, and looked on with a somewhat shocked face, which was quickly replaced by his usual stoic look.

_'There's something very off about this lot.'_ He sneezed again, quickly shooing the feline behind him slightly for what he was about to do as he stepped forward.

"Sebastian what is the meaning of this? It seems to me that you have angered our guest. Explain." It would not do much good to him if the butler was distracted by a cat in the room...even if he COULD speak.

He would need to question them about that as well, later. Sebastian glanced briefly over to Ciel, yet he said absolutely nothing.

Cri snatched her arms away from Layla and Akira and stalked over to Grell.

"If you EVER insult my intelligence again, I will ensure you will live to regret it," she hissed out, jabbing her finger into his chest. Then she slammed her fist into his cheek.

"And THAT'S for insinuating that I'm a whore!"

Everyone, except Akira and Sebastian who had heard in the first place, just kind of stared in shock, while Grell was just curled up in a ball on the floor complaining about how rude it was to punch a lady's face and _blah blah blah..._

Toshi was staring at him strangely like he had two heads or something. "I don't mean to be rude, not that it even matters at this point, but aren't you a guy?"

There was suddenly an awkward moment of silence in which Layla and the others just all gave him an 'are-you-stupid-or-what' look.

Quicker than anyone could blink, however, the next thing Toshi knew he was suddenly lying flat on his back about two feet away from where he previously stood only moments before. A thin cloud of smoke covered the area around whoever had just pushed him out of the way, as well as the red haired weirdo who was currently holding up a red-handled chainsaw as he pushed up his glasses, glaring at the poor stupid boy on the ground.

"Hmph! What rude boy you are! And here I was actually thinking you to be SO attractive, not as much as my dear Bassy, but still~," both Toshiro and Sebastian visibly shuddered, utterly repulsed.

Someone chuckled, and suddenly all heads were turning to see where the noise was coming from. The smoke cleared, and there was a strange man standing there in front of Toshi, crouched in a defensive stance.

Standing in front of Toshi was Loki; with his combed back, black hair splayed over his shoulders and wearing the usual black and green vest, which was imbedded with his armor. His blue eyes shone with a clashing of amused mischief and anger filled irritation. The girls blinked at the sight of said god standing there, while the guys just stared, wondering who the hell this strange guy was and where he had come from.

"Loki?" Loki grinned happily, smacking Toshiro on his back.

"Toshi! How have you been?" Toshi smiled.

"I'm good, and yourself?" Loki shrugged.

"Oh, you know, same old, same old."

"Pardon me, but just who are you?" Loki and Toshi turned to look at Ciel.

"This is my brother, Loki." Loki grinned, but Akira immediately took offense.

"Oh hell naw! There's no way in hell that I'm claiming him as my brother!" she snarled. Cri snickered.

"Oh, quiet, Akira. You're just mad that he would rather be Toshi's friend than yours." Akira glared at her.

"And you're not?" Cri shrugged, a smile on her face.

"While I do admit that it would be interesting to have a Trickster such as Loki on my side, I must be content with my awesome self."

"Psh, please. You're starting to sound like that OTHER asshole," she mumbled, glancing over to Sebastian who had somehow made his way over to Ciel's side, and back to Grell who had a very creepy look on his face.

She looked on to the other occupants in the room, then down to her—hideous—dress, and back up again. Ciel was busy interrogating Loki, who was standing next to the, now, standing Toshiro, who...was back to glaring at Sebastian. _Okay then__..._

Layla was attempting, and failing, to diffuse Toshiro. _Not much luck there…_

Grell was pretending to be a human magnet by attempting to attach his person to Sebastian, who was forcibly keeping the psychotic redhead away with his foot. _Oh, sure. That's gonna work…psh…_

All the while, Cri's face was an interesting mixture between humorous and, whenever she happened to glance in the direction of a certain annoying redhead, pure irritation bordering on malice.

After a moment of taking all this in, Akira couldn't help it when a giant yawn suddenly ripped its way from her throat as a sudden wave of drowsiness hit her like a ton of bricks. She could feel her consciousness slowly slipping away as she fought her drooping eyelids that suddenly weighed about fifty pounds each. She wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer…

Across the room, Shadow, who's presence had been pretty much been all but forgotten as he took in the people around him, grinned at their stupidity.

He saw that Miss Cri, who stood next to Akira, had been looking around, observing everything with an amused smirk, while her hands would occasionally twitch whenever her eyes seemed to land on the red-headed thing that was attach—attempting to attach itself to the strange butler that Master Toshiro was glaring at, while Miss Layla attempted to diffuse him from doing so, as that idiot of a god Loki conversed with the short Earl, Lord Ciel, while purposely pissing him off so that his face now resembled that of a cherry.

Oh, yes. This was going to be an interesting little break for them. Not that it really differed from their everyday occurrences or anything, but at least Lady Akira and her friends have some other people to pick on…well, besides each other.

'_Speaking of her~__…__,__' _his eyes swerved back around the room towards the other side of the room where he noticed his mistress fighting to stay conscious as she swayed heavily on her feet.

Looking around, he saw that no one else seemed to have noticed this alarmingly random condition she happened to be in. Either that or they didn't really care—he'd bet that first option on the puny god and weird butler. Panicking, he contemplated whether or not he should try to either get the fools' attention, or deal with the issue himself. However the ending result would have him wind up giving away his disguise in the process…

Oh…Decisions….decisions…

Unfortunately, the decision was not really his to make. Because the next thing anyone knew, Akira had finally lost the battle, giving into her body's demands…and was now heading straight towards the floor…

'_Ah, FUCK,__'_he yowled, zipping over to the other side of the room just in time to catch her, her head only a few inches from the ground.

A few tense seconds passed in which two things of interest happened.

Firstly, everyone finally noticed that Akira was unconscious. The second thing is that Loki was actually the one to ask what the question that had suddenly popped into everyone's head.

"Who in the hell are you, and what in _Odin's name_ gives you the right to be touching my younger sibling in such a way," he all but snarled at the cat boy who was currently crouched low to the ground, his arms wrapped around the girl, holding her closely. He scowled at the blue-eyed man before him, one of his ears twitching, but said nothing.

Glancing down at his charge, he 'hmm'd' and dipped his head down towards her face for a moment, then her chest over her heart. He checked her pulse. Checked the forehead in case of a fever. When nothing showed up, he suddenly let out a big sigh before looking up and glaring at the fool in front of him, silver eyes practically glowing with irritation. When he spoke, however, it was with a very calm yet familiar voice that many of them recognized, and left some with their jaws hanging open in shock.

"You know very damn well who I am you puny excuse of a god! I can't believe that someone who has been pretty much spying on us for **years **could be so obvious. I mean really, the fact that _you_ didn't even know I was here until I changed was sad enough but, what, the black cat ears and tail weren't enough of a giveaway?" he smirked, shifting the girl to carry her bridal style so he could finally stand up.

Toshiro's eye twitched at the amount of sarcasm that rolled the boy's mouth, but smirked anyways, amusement gleaming in his brown orbs.

"Why Shadow, I thought you had finally gotten bored and left."

The boy just 'hnn'd' in response, kitty grinning away.

**:+:_:=:_:+:**

**Angel: PASTA~VE~! **

**Akira: WTF? And why am I unconscious? =[**

**Angel: Because you're weak—leave me alone!**

**Akira: BITCH!**

**Angel: WEAKLING!**

**Akira: PROCRASTINATOR!**

**Angel: …YOU CAN'T INSULT WIT TRUTH, BAKA!**

_*keep shooting insults at each other*_

**Shadow: Okay, seeing as they won't be stopping anytime soon, I suppose I'll just do the closing. Please remember to Read & Review! All ****Constructive Criticism**** is welcome! Remember to come back next time to learn more about me and what's going on! **_*strikes 'sexy' pose*_** Or if you just wanna' learn about me, that's cool too…**_*a binder hits him in the face*_** OW! What?**

**Angel / Akira: SHUT UP!**

**Shadow: **_*sulks in corner*_


	3. The Pancake is a Lie

**Author: Angel of Randomosity**

**Anime:** Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler

**Pairing: Unknown**

**Genre:** Humor-Romance-Stupidity

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN Kuroshitsuji/ Black Butler OR ANYTHING ELSE COPYRIGHTED!

**Why You Don't Let Your Friends Drag You Around England**

**Chapter 3:**The Pancake is a Lie, Bocchan. Oh, Fuck You Sebastian.

The next morning, Akira just so happened to find herself waking up to a painfully empty feeling in her gut, making her groan in pain as she sat up.

Looking over, she could see Shadow snoozing away in his humanoid form, and not a care in the fuckin' world—lucky bastard.

Not wanting to disturb the poor feline, she slid out of the bed as quickly and quietly as she could. Or rather, she would have, if not for a pair of arms shooting out and dragging her back down, and facing the now awake cat-boy.

He glared at her slightly, eyes still drooping from fatigue.

"Where the hell do you think you're going so early in the morning? The sun has barely even risen yet." She groaned, clutching her mid-section in pain. It was starting to bubble.

"_Ooh…_I'm starving here! I need some real food before my stomach decides to kill me from that damn British food I had before!" she all but hissed at him. As if to confirm her words, said stomach growled loudly, demanding sustenance.

He yawned and gave her a 'you've-gotta'-be-shitting-me' look, and she countered it with a pleading one, complete with perfected puppy-pout.

Shadow rolled his eyes, but allowed Akira to get up. "You know that you'll have to get passed that butler in order to get to the kitchen, right? He's been checking up on our rooms. I don't think he trusts Cri all that much, even though they are friends."

Akira grinned happily and tugged on his arms, pulling him up with her. "Oh? But Shadow, isn't that what I have _you_ for? To aid me through these oh-so-trying situations," there was a very devious looking smirk on her face as she dragged him closer to the edge of the bed.

"If I remember correctly, Sebastian is VERY fond of _cats_." His eyes widen in shock as he comes to the realization of what exactly she was implying...

"…..Ah, fuck."

Shadow grumbled to himself as he slunk down the hallway, forced back into his cat form. "Oh the things I do for Mistress Akira…" he grumbled glancing around, silently hoping to not actually bump into the elusively mysterious butler.

"_I'm outa' time, and all I got is four minutes~" _he sung under his breath, glancing back once before shooting down the dark halls.

After a few moments of silence, the door cracked open a bit as a small red and black colored fox kit stuck its head outside, looking back and forth. A sly grin shown on its face as it went back into the room.

Small shuffling noises and curses could be heard from behind the door, before suddenly stopping all together. Riku poked his nose out a second before shooting out through the doorway and down the opposite hall that Shadow had taken, the small fox clinging to his back.

Somewhere down the opposite hall they could faintly hear the poor cat-boy crying and cursing his loyalty to his mistress, as well as the devil butler.

Getting to the kitchen had actually taken a tad bit longer than they had originally thought, however...

This was mostly due to the fact that 1) Riku was helplessly lost as he tried to navigate the Phantomhive manor halls and b) they had found Finnie…or put more precisely, they had bumped _into_ the little blond boy.

Okay, so this is what had happened….

Because of the fact that Riku, being the momma's-boy that he is, would do just about anything to make his mistress happy, he so graciously neglected to tell her that he forgot to look for the kitchen while they were scoping out the manor—and therefore had absolutely no idea where he was going. Just as well, because his fear was just as strong as his love, he opted to take the high road and just wing it by running blindly through the halls, turning the corners randomly, and praying that he was somehow going in the right direction.

By some sort of miracle it seemed as if luck was on their side for once, because they actually _were _going in the right direction…

However…

Because of the fact that Riku—being basically useless, save for his cuteness, luck, agility, and incredible sense of smell as well as hearing—whose eyes were not as well trained as his adopted older brother Shadow, could not really determine what was in front of him while in such a dark setting.

Unfortunately…

Therefore, he was barely able to make out the short figure of a certain blond gardener who happened to be leaving his room at that very moment.

So I suppose you could make a not-so-educated guess on what happened next, yes?

They froze as the gardener stared at them in confusion. Akira suddenly panicked.

"You don't see anything," she said, standing on her hind legs, circling her paws in front of her face. Riku had this "what-the-fuck" look on his face, and Finnie's confusion increased, because, after all, Akira wasn't speaking in English, but merely yips and barks as is the fox's language.

He finally shook his head, and went back into his room, muttering something about needing more sleep.

There was a mad rush as they followed their noses to the smell of food, hoping and praying that they wouldn't run into anyone else.

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they made it safely to the kitchen, and were even happier that there was no one else in there.

"Okay, we're here. Now what, Mistress Akira?" Akira smiled her vulpine smile, before changing back into her human form.

"Now we make something tasty to eat!" Unfortunately, she knew only a few recipes, and very few of them would be make-able in the Victorian times. Riku was starting to doze as she wandered through the kitchen, looking for something to make, but jumped in shock at her triumphant shout.

"I can make pancakes!" Riku sighed and stretched as she gathered all the necessary ingredients. She threw all of the dry ingredients into a bowl, before she realized that she would have to get the stove going in order to make them. Now, while she had been throwing everything into the bowl, Riku had jumped onto a nearby shelf, overlooking said bowl, so he could get a better look at what she was doing. As he leaned over the shelf, he didn't realize he was getting closer and closer to a small bottle. He flinched when his shoulder hit the bottle, knocking it from its perch. His eyes widened in horror as he saw the words "Vinegar" written on the bottle's label, for he clearly remembered Akira having put some baking soda into the dry mix.

He opened his mouth to issue a warning to his beloved mistress, but, alas, it was too late. The vinegar emptied itself from its holding container, right onto the baking soda in the dry mix. The resulting explosion was horrific. The kitchen was covered from top to bottom in powdery goo and scorch marks. Akira stared around at the mess in wonder, her hair charred and sticking out at odd angles. She walked over to the remains of the bowl, only to slip and fall into a puddle of vinegar that had managed to miss its target completely.

Now, the entire household had been pulled out of whatever it was they had been doing, be it sleep or the molestation of cats, by the sound of the explosion. Everyone made their way as fast as they could to the kitchen, and that was the scene that they came upon: Akira face-down in vinegar, the kitchen completely useless.

Sebastian was the only one who moved, and that was merely an agitated twitch.

"Mistress Akira, what did I tell you about leaving your room?" There was a mumbled response, while Toshi sighed.

"You actually didn't tell her anything. Seeing as she was unconscious and all, that would've been kind of impossible…' he received a nasty glare in response. Toshi just stared at him blankly, quite used to receiving such looks by now. 'Dude, I've seen scarier looks than that from Layla."

At this point, attention was drawn away from bickering by Cri stumbling up to them, rubbing her eyes.

"Wazgonon?" she muttered. Toshi twitched.

"Akira exploded the kitchen," Layla said with a yawn.

"Again?" Toshi twitched a second time.

"Are you telling me that you slept through that?!" he finally yelled. Cri blinked at him.

"Of course. I actually kinda' figured that all of us would be used to it by now."

"Then why are you up?" he bit out. Cri blushed.

"I got hungry." Akira shot up from the vinegar puddle, mouth gaping.

"I was hungry too~!" she snarled. Ciel rolled his eyes at her excuse.

"Then how in the world did this happen exactly?" she pouted at him.

"I don't know, but it wasn't me." Everyone turned to stare at Cri.

"Now wait just a goddamn minute! I was asleep this entire time! What would I have to gain from blowing up the fucking kitchen when I NEED to eat too!?" Toshiro sighed, thinking it over.

"Hmm….she actually has a point there for once…" Cri chose to ignore that comment in favor of wandering around the focal point of the explosion, silently stepping around Akira. Layla followed her over, barely avoiding being tripped by Akira as she went.

Glancing into the remnants of the bowl, they each dipped in a finger to taste the concoction, only to blanch at the taste. Layla's face scrunched up in disgust.

"Eww…what in the world were you trying to make in here?" Akira just looked at her, absentmindedly running her fingers through her now vinegar-soaked hair.

"Pancakes, what else would I be able to make in this place?!" Layla shook her head.

"What ingredients did you use? I know you don't normally blow up pancakes." She thought for a second.

"Uh, Baking Powder, Flour, some Eggs—you're out by the way—uh, I couldn't find sugar so I used some salt, and I was about to go look for some milk after I had started up the stove, but never actually got to it as you can see…" Toshiro nodded that time, believing her.

"Still, that doesn't explain all _this_ happened.' He said, gesturing to the mess. 'How did you find your way down here anyways?" Akira grinned, tapping a finger on her nose and winking.

"How else d'you think I would find it? Follow the nose my good man. It has never failed me as of yet!' she states proudly, standing up from the floor before pointing towards the shelf. 'Oh, and I brought Riku-kun with me too." Everyone looks towards the shelf, only to see a charred and very frightened Riku.

"Akira, what did you do to the poor dear?!" Layla demanded, coaxing the terrified animal into her arms. Akira's eye twitched.

"What do you mean 'what did I do'?! I'VE done nothing! I just wanted something to eat, and it EXPLODED on me!" Akira's eyes started to narrow at Riku, as pieces of the puzzle started falling into place.

"YOU!" she snarled, pointing at him.

"Now, Akira, calm down."

"Calm down!? He BLEW UP MY FOOD!" Cri chuckled, drawing Akira's glare away from the terrified animal.

"Why are you complaining? They would've turned out bad anyways, if you managed to even get them to the stove. Why do people allow you into the kitchen, anyways?" The words were barely out of her mouth, when she was clutching her head in pain with an annoyed Akira standing over her.

"Who the fuck are you talking about baka?! My cooking skills are perfectly fine! The only time things go wrong is when you follow me into the kitchen yourself! I've been cooking since I was little; heck I even know my family's secret recipe better than Toshi does! And they didn't even teach me!"

Their argument was halted when both their stomachs yelled their objections as to why they had yet to be filled. They both blushed, and turned pleading eyes on Sebastian.

"Seby-chan, will you pleeeease feed us?" Cri begged. Sebastian sighed.

"It will take a while, since I'll need to clean up this mess…" Cri whimpered, clutching her stomach in agony. Sebastian sighed, and ventured further into the kitchen, where he somehow managed to procure a couple apples and carrots that were saved from the disastrous explosion. Cri squealed in delight, as she took the food from him, giving him a large hug in the process. She handed an apple and carrot to Akira, and both happily started munching.

"What about us?" Ciel asked. Toshi shook his head.

"It's better if they eat something now. They get nasty if they don't eat regularly, as you can clearly see."

The young lord glanced over at Akira who, in turn, looked up from her carrot munching to give him a feral smirk before walking over to Layla and Riku. She smiled, albeit a bit more pleasantly, letting him take a bite of her apple.

Ciel's eyes widened as he noticed the fangs glinting behind her lips, only furthering his suspicions about the strange group. Toshiro, who had noticed this quick exchange, glared as Ciel strolled over to Sebastian and whispered something in his ear. Both males shot a brief glance over to the three girls who were now fawning over Riku, before the young lord turned and walked out of the room.

Toshi's glare became almost Akira-esque as it followed the young lord out of the room, before settling on the raven-haired bastard. He had been around Akira and Cri long enough to spot plotting a mile off, and he didn't trust either of these foreigners one bit. Especially the raven-haired bastard, who was creepy enough because of his connection to Cri.

'_I'm gonna need reinforcements….'_

**:+:_:=:_:+:**

**Angel: OMG THIS IS FRIGGIN SHORT! ****=[**

**Akira: Dude…it's like 7 pages…**

**Angel: That's SHORT!**

**Toshi: At least its done.**

**Akira: FINALLY!**

**Angel: That's only cuz' I couldn't remember what I was doing, and gave up at the last moment.**

**Both: Still.**

**Akira: Hey, has anyone seen Shadow?**

**Angel: Uuhh….. = 3= Toshi? **_*runs off*_

**Toshi: …..No. **_*Akira goes to hunt down Angel*_** As allways, please remember to Read & Review. All ****Constructive Criticism**** is welcome. Now please excuse me while I try to keep her from killing the authoress….**


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